What the Doug Anthony Allstars meant (and mean) to me.

I grew up in a house that firstly due to strict religious reasons, then secondly due to too many kids to put up with this reasons didn’t particularly encourage questioning authority (particularly if that authority was mum). There were 5 kids in the house and it was always loud so no music during the day – the combination of music over the sound of kids drove mum nuts. Mum and dad had control of the TV at night when anything interesting might be on so it was Australia’s Funniest or Hey Hey then bedtime kids! I lived in Mount Isa - an isolated town in outback Queensland and there was no internet.

Basically what I’m trying to say is I was pretty much a blank book until I was around 16. I had no idea what I liked or didn’t like and just used to copy my friends, go with what Dolly magazine said that month or just agree with whatever mum said. I did like things but my heart was never really into them, I sort of just liked them to fit in and to make birthday/christmas gift buying easier for people. Then a science teacher at my school recommended I listen to the Doug Anthony Allstars.

And I did. And I have not been the same since. I used to sneak into the lounge room after my parents had gone to bed, put Dead and Alive on volume 1 (the lowest possible before mute) and shove a pillow in my face. I remember I didn’t understand about 80% of what was being said but still somehow found it hilarious (possibly forbidden nature of the content and the fact that I was out of bed at night maybe?). I would pause the cd every time I heard a word I didn't know and write down (in the dark because I couldn’t risk waking up mum with the light!) then bring the list into school the next day for my infinitely patient science teacher to explain. From recollection some of the list included:

• What’s Waco? 
• Who’s Margaret Thatcher? 
• Who’s Michael Hunt?
• Who’s Rigor Mortis (To his credit he somehow managed to explain the last two without making me feel stupid at all and without saying cunt)
• What’s necrophilia? OH! It really is that? Why would anyone want to do that? Sex is gross enough with live people isn't it?! (Did I mention he was infinitely patient and very good at not being embarrassed? And that I was incredibly naive?)

The Doug Anthony Allstars totally blew my mind. They were mean and it was funny! They were saying stupid things and it was funny! They were saying disgusting, rude and adult things and it was somehow funny and CLEVER! They were so loud and rough and they didn’t care what ANYONE thought! And what on earth is a kerrowax and a dogs toy esky and why is that line funny?!

I Fuck Dogs was pretty much the one song that needed no explanation! Actually, one of the few times I got in trouble at school was because of that song. I accidentally printed the lyrics to a teacher’s staff room. It was tracked down to me and the teacher sternly waved the paper in my face stating she was shocked that I had come up with such filth. Whereas before I would have apologized profusely, felt humiliated and probably cried, this time I had to bite my cheek ‘Oh no Miss! I could never come up with anything like that on my own!’ I remember being delighted that she thought I could never be that filthy when really I was thinking I could never be that good. It was a small thing for most people but big for me.

From that moment on I was hungry for everything funny and new. I would loudly (and often inappropriately) quote and sing the Dougs any opportunity I had. From them I learnt comedy was totally a thing. I also learnt fuck authority and fuck what people think! My parents divorced soon after and I stayed with my dad. With mum and half the kids out of the house I had proper TV access. I bought Dead and Alive on video (from the local Christian bookshop! – it was the only ABC centre in Mount Isa) and watched it nonstop until I knew every word and every stutter by heart (Side note: My proudest achievement as a big sister is that I got my 10 yr old brother hooked on the Dougs. He could and still can sing along loudly and proudly to the Dougs. Joan of Arc was the funniest because it would come complete with an always hilarious attempt to do the, err… dance move by himself).

I was also able to convince dad to get Austar (Foxtel) for the comedy channel and from there, there was no going back. I’d be up at 3am under a blanket in the lounge sitting an inch away from the TV (volume again) watching the Big Gig. I learnt about other comedians and for the first time in my 17 years of life became actually properly interested in something.

I felt awake for the first time ever. Looking back – that was the time I stopped being a blank book for other people to write in. It was the time I finally took up the pen for myself. And drew penises on the pages.