My 'review' (ramble/rundown/highlights package) of the DAAS Kapital DVD launch.

So on April the 13^th at approximately 2pm on a Saturday I sat in a chair barely able to keep still from the excitement as Doug Anthony Allstars walked (or in the case of Tim – was wheeled) on stage and perched themselves on three stools.

Never in my whole life did I ever think I would get to witness such a thing. Tim lent back on his chair relaxed and confident, Richard sat on his usual side looking more the straight man than ever and Paul, who was more of his cheeky/charming GNW personality rather than his old DAAS one (much to the relief of the front row of aged Gen Xers) bounded around the stage and fidgeted more than enough to make up for the calm assured stillness of the other two. The whole afternoon felt a bit like a science fiction convention – which in a way I suppose it sort of was. There was a big screen behind them on which they played clips from DAAS Kapital. There were Psycho Bob, Flacco and Bob Downe reels and a lot of clips that were accompanied by stories about how Paul injured Rich in that scene or how Rich injured Paul in this other scene and the realisation that somehow Tim made it through the whole 2 seasons injury-free (‘You have to sleep with the right people’ says Tim).

At one point Ted Robinson (legend) wandered out and put up a crew photo. There were stories attached to some of the faces in the picture but more often than not one of them would fondly point to a face, say the name and mention how excellent the person was and the others would all agree with nostalgic smiles. It was wonderfully personal and at times it felt a little voyeuristic for the audience (in a good way).

We were told tales of the good ol’ days. Some of them were horrific, others merely disgusting and all of them entertaining. Most of the stories were told by either all three at once with confusing enthusiasm or by one Doug through the protestations and embarrassed giggles of the other two. And really, you have not lived until you’ve heard three 50 year old men giggling as they recall the porn related incidents of days gone by. 

Speaking of – did you know that Tim used to rip out graphic pictures of porn, write little things on them like 'Thanks for coming’ fold them up and distribute them to audience members throughout their shows? And that the porn Tim ripped the pics from came from their ‘large and eclectic’ personal collection? 

Paul said their touring vans used to be full of the most depraved porn you could possibly imagine and that when they dropped the vans off at the hire places they’d pretend to be a Christian outreach group and make the hire people hold hands and pray before they left. It was heartening to see that even after 20 odd years all three of them still carried on with what can only be described as childish delight at the thought of the looks on the faces of the poor people cleaning out the porn laden van of those lovely Christian boys. I always dread the day when 69 is no longer a funny number and watching the boys tonight gave me hope for the future of my own dirty mind.

Also, Paul Livingston came on! Really, it was all very exciting! Mostly he told stories about the horrible physical conditions he was forced to endure in the name of comedy. Even though he wasn't on as Flacco there was enough of a ghost of Flacco around him that it felt like we were getting 2 for 1 - the excellent Livingston and the alien Flacco. Kyhm Lam (AKA – the face of Shitzu Tonka and Richard Fidler’s wife) also made an appearance and proved herself to be charmingly endearing. And there were two failed attempts at an ‘Allstars’ chants from the audience – the first one prompting Tim to shout at us to ‘get it together’. The second one (started after Tim insisted there would be no singing) caused Paul to claim he thought we were shouting out ‘arseholes’.

As for the singing – right from the start we were told there would be no songs but I don't think anyone in the room believed it. In fact we were all so unconvinced this would actually be the case there was only a half hearted ‘Noooo’ from about a third of the audience the first time this was announced and no real protest at all any of the other times. So no one was surprised when they did bring out a guitar for Rich but that doesn’t mean the audience didn’t completely lose their shit because, well, we did. We lost our shit so hard! I think my enthusiasm may have frightened my colleague, Jason, who had come along with me. 

The first song was the first song they ever sang together which was a 99% straight and 100% excellent mash up thingy (I think?) of A Little Ray of Sunshine by the Axioms and My Girl by the Temptations. 

And then they sang War Song and broke all of our hearts. 

Ted Robinson (legend) decided at the last minute to play the clip of them singing War Song from DAAS Kapital on the screen behind them while they were singing it live. Somehow this really brought it home how much time had passed and the... finiteness of time in general. I’m not afraid to say I shed a manly tear. I’m not even embarrassed to admit that I stopped breathing after about the first verse because I wanted the moment to last forever. It was breathtakingly beautiful seeing these three men singing over such young versions of themselves. Okay, maybe I’m a little embarrassed I wrote that but I’m also feeling defensive enough about it not to hit the delete button. So there. Whatever. Get off my back already, jeeze!

Anyway then they left the stage and the lights went down so we could all yell encore before they came on to do the last song which they would have done anyway. Well that’s what was supposed to happen. What really happened was Paul and Rich left the stage while Tim remained stranded on his stool making comical gestures asking if anyone was going to come and get him. Then Paul and Rich came back (‘That would have been really fuckin’ good if you’d left the stage, Tim’ says Paul – ‘I’m a poor little cripple’ says Tim but the crowd was laughing too hard at Paul to hear Tim’s excellent DAAS Kapital reference). 

It was all very jolly until Paul slapped us in the face with the bittersweet announcement that the last song of the night was to be the last song they ever wrote and will ever sing together. It was a beautiful song called Saturday which they wrote recently to replace their cover of the Velvet Underground’s Sunday Morning (the new song and the explanation are on the DVD). It was stunning. Then very abruptly the show was over for reals. Everyone left the stage and that was it. There was nothing else to do but queue up for an hour and a half to get our DVD’s signed.

Now, before I go on let me apologise in advance for the following line –

I ACTUALLY MET THE DOUG ANYTHONY FUCKING ALLSTARS! HOLY SHIT GUYS!

*cough*

It was everything it should have been. Paul shouted at me (‘Come on woman!’ – because I didn’t move up fast enough), Richard apologised for him and very sweetly introduced himself and Tim told me to sell more of his book (he knows I work in a bookshop and here it is [it's what he'd want me to do, but also it is an excellent book]) and to top it off Khym Lam complimented my TARDIS shirt! AND I DIDN’T EVEN SAY ANYTHING STUPID! It could not have been more perfect! After we left the Town Hall Jase and I were so bewildered and filled with adrenalin over the whole afternoon that we couldn’t think of anything to do but burst out laughing. 

I have to admit as I was leaving the Town Hall I secretly felt really sad that I was heading back into a world where the Doug’s would never be together again.

Still feel a bit depressed about that actually. But it's a good kind of depressed I suppose. A sort of nice, comfortable there's-an-end-in-sight depressed. 

I've always said all the 'intelligent' things I know I've learnt from Terry Pratchett and the Doug Anthony Allstars. Now the Doug's have taught me one last lesson, something about myself - that I can be a really sappy SOB when I want to be! 

Disclaimer: I may have misremembered some things because of being human and not a remembering machine.